A Journey
by tazitz
Summary: Since Jude has turned 16, shes had some major changes in her life. Once she heads out on tour, she'll find out just who she really does miss.
1. A wise man once said

A wise man once said that one moment can define all that you will be. One single moment can tell you everything you need to know about a person. Kinda scary, isn't it? I mean, according to that rule, once your see someone's "true" colors, they won't change. I, for one, don't believe in this at all. I mean, a person that you thought was a truly great person can turn out to be a backstabbing, two-timing snake and someone you used to think was a total jerk could turn out to be the love of your life. What most people don't understand is the journey… the journey of how people get to where they are in life.

And I'm just now understanding it.


	2. Hey Jude

Touring isn't all that its cracked up to be. Sure, you may get to play your music for people and you may get to see all the people that are supporting you, but it's also a lot more. It's the late nights and the early mornings, the interviews, the photo shoots, it's just everything else. Don't get me wrong, I'm totally grateful for this opportunity, but its way different that I would have ever imagined it to be.

Anyways, I just wanted to fill you in a little on my thoughts; sure, they're not the most encouraging I know, but it's better than lying to everyone. Definitely better than lying, like it never happened…

See you guys on the road… hope you enjoy any show you go to!

xoxo Jude

I clicked post and smiled as I got five responses almost immediately. I had just updated my "Myspace" tour journal, and it's still pretty amazing, even to me, how many people actually like me. I'm really loving it. I turned off my laptop and hopped onto the floor. Something you should know: tour bus bedspretty damn uncomfortable, with a capitol U. I walked out into the main part of the bus and saw EJ sitting on the couch, cell phone in hand, gabbing away as usual. She caught sight of me and quickly finished up her conversation.

"Jude! Wonderful, I needed to run a few things by you." She paused, waiting for the signal.

"Alright, shoot." I replied.

"Okay, well I just got off the phone with Leno and they have a spot open for tomorrow night's show. Also, I set up interviews for you with "Paste", "The Rolling Stone", and "Seventeen"." I gave her a questioning look. "Variety. Plus, you know how many girls like you, your music, and what you do. Trust me." She promised. Its amazing how so many people expect me to trust them… trust them with my career, my life… my heart.

"Fine, whatever. Not like I have a choice right?" I added with a chuckle. "No just kidding. That sounds awesome. Leno… better than Kilman right?" EJ nodded and laughed.

"That's the spirit. Oh, and you also have a photo shoot one week from today in Colorado. It's just so beautiful, and we'll be able to get pictures of you up in the mountains and with the leaves and stuff. It'll be great."

"Right, and just as long as I'm going to be sufficiently warm during all this, I'll be just peachy." I laughed. She gave me a look that made me doubt her a little. I continued. "So, we're on our way to New York then right?"

"Correct. Your concert tonight, Leno tomorrow night, it's going to be stupendous!" She immediately started dialing numbers and talking to more people. '_Yeah, stupendous… that wouldn't be the way I would be describing it, but who asked me right?'_ Suddenly, I heard my phone start to ring.

"I'M COMING!" I shouted, not letting it occur to me that I was yelling at an inanimate object. I picked it up without looking at the called ID. "Hello?

"Hey Jude." The voice answered back.

"Oh how terribly cliché of you to say so." I replied back sarcastically.

"Blame our parents, not me. I was aiming more for monkey butt or something of the sort, but I was quickly vetoed." Sadie laughed.

"Yeah, well I guess that's a good thing, cause I would have been obligated to hate you forever and ever if they had listened to you."

"Don't you already hate me thought?" She asked.

"God damn Sadie… you just HAVE to bring it up, didn't you?" I replied hotly.

"Sorry… It was just a question." She apologized.

"Yeah, well… what did you call for?" I asked quickly. "Tommy knock you up or something?"

"Shut up Jude. No, I actually just called to see how you were, considering the fact that you ARE my sister." She said dramatically. '_Good job Harrison'._ I said to myself.

"Sorry Sexy Sadie." I got her back. She groaned.

"Our parents were so on drugs when they named us."

"Yeah, I would have to say so." I agreed. "But yeah… so I'm good, just hanging out a little. We're headed to New York right now. I have a concert tonight, then I'm going to be on Leno tomorrow night… How exciting is that?" I asked breathlessly.

"Sounds great Jude! When you get to New York though… I have a surprise waiting for you." She teased.

"What is it?" I paused. "Wait, no. Never mind. You're not going to tell me anyways, so I won't torture myself." She giggled.

"You're right about that sister." In the background, I heard someone talking.

"C'mon Sadie. This is out stop." It was Tommy. Just hearing his voice made my stomach clench.

"Sorry Jude, but I gotta go. This is our stop. I'll see you later. Love you." She hung up. I set my phone down and sank down to the floor. _'Damn Harrison, get over him already! He doesn't want you… he wants your sister, and that's just something you're going to have to accept. Besides, you're only 16 remember? Nothing ever has or ever will happen.'_ I felt a tear make its way down my cheek. I hastily wiped it away and stood up. He's not worth anymore of my tears… not a single one. I picked up my phone again and called the one person I knew I could depend on, through thick and thin, no matter what. Someone picked up on the other end.

"Hey Jamie." I greeted.


	3. He needs you, you need him

"Hey Jude." Jamie's voice greeted me back. _God, what is this, a conspiracy? _I asked myself. "Er, sorry.' Jamie apologized. "Jude hey. How's that?" Man that boy can read my mind. I laughed.

"Much better, thanks. What's going on?"

"Oh, nothing too too much. Just being insanely bored and missing you. How about yourself?"

"About the same… 'cept I'm missing you, not me." He chuckled. "And I'm really tired too. I'm just heading to New York as we speak."

"Ohhh, super exciting. What's on the agenda for while you're there?" he asked, interested.

"Oh, you know the usual. A concert, a few interviews, Leno…" I trailed off, waiting for his reaction.

"Sounds like f… WAIT! Leno? As in JAY LENO!" He didn't wait for an answer. "Oh wow Jude… you're going to be on Jay Leno!" He almost screeched. He seemed way more excited about it than I was.

"Yeah, super awesome, isn't it?" I guess I sounded a little bitter about it because then he asked

"Jude, what's wrong?"

"Uh, nothing. What makes you ask?" I tried to sound innocent. That didn't work too well.

"Cut the shit Harrison. I know you're lying. Now, are you going to tell me what's wrong or am I going to have to fly out to you and force it out of you myself?" he teased.

"Hmmm, maybe I shouldn't tell you… I'd be able to see you if I didn't right?" I could tell he was smiling through the phone. "No, it's really nothing Jamie. I guess I'm just a little nervous about being on American TV in front of millions of people." I was trying hard to sound convincing.

"Yeah, well if that's it…" he paused for a second I heard him say something to someone on his end of the phone. "Jude, I'm really sorry I have to cut this so short, but I have to go. Mom needs to use the phone."

"Alright, that's fine. Love you Jamie." Shit, had I really just said that?

"Love you too Jude." He replied, not missing a beat. "Bye."

"Bye." I mumbled as I clicked off my cell. Love you? It had just slipped out so suddenly and so easily, but did I really mean it? I knew I loved Jamie as a friend, but did I love him like he loved me… like he wanted me to love him? _Of course you do Harrison. _I reminded myself. _You have to. Don't second guess your feelings or else you're going to end up like you always do; alone and broken hearted. You need him and he needs you, so stick with what you've got… with what you can have._ "Oh shut up damn it." I said out loud, hoping to drown myself out.

"Excuse me?" I whipped my head about to find Georgia standing in the hall, looking at me with interest.

"Sorry." I hurriedly apologized. "I wasn't talking to you, just the voices in my head." I gave her a small smirk.

"Ahhh, well when you're done shutting them up, you should come out to the TV area. There's something you should see." She teased with a twinkle in her eye. She turned on her heel and walked away. I was in such a hurry to go after I tripped on air and fell flat on my face.

"Ah shit!" I cursed under my breath as I picked myself up and dusted off my shirt. I limped down the hall, as I had managed to hit my knee pretty hard when I fell. "What is it Georgia?" I asked as I went to stand next to her. She stood at the window, looking out. She pointed her finger to something in the distance. I followed her point and let out a small gasp. "Oh my god."

Authors note: Hey those three people that have read my fic so far! Thanks for reviewing and mostly just for taking an interest in my story! I hope I got this chapter up fast enough for ya'll! Just to let you know, this is going to eventually be a **_JUDE/TOMMY_** pairing. Someone had a concern, hoping it wouldn't be a Jude/Jamie pairing and I just wanted to let them know…

Plus, I absolutely **_HATE _**Jude and Jamie together….. It's so gross! Anyways, read, review, good, bad, whatever. If you have anything nice to say, I would love to hear it and if you have anything bad to say… YAY! I love bad stuff. It makes me laugh. Thanks guys!

Tazitz


	4. I like to be prepared

The New York skyline at 5 pm should be one of the things every single person has to see before they die. The sun isn't quite setting, but it isn't that high in the sky anymore. It is absolutely amazing. Most people might take for granted what they have in their own country, but when you've never seen it before… it just makes you think. "Georgia, that is beautiful!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah, I thought so too. I figured you'd understand it." She gave me a small smile before continuing. "Anyways, hate to cut this short, but we're going to be in Manhattan in about 10 minutes, and the hotel in about the same. You need to go get everything packed up."

"Alrighty ho, just let me know when we're ready to roll." Georgia nodded and I went into the back to pack my duffle. "Shoes, red shirt, black shirt, jeans, hair dryer." I mentally checked everything off. 15 minutes later, Georgia appeared again.

"C'mon Jude, we're here."

"'Kay." I acknowledged her presence as I jammed a few other things in my bag before sipping it up.

"God, are you bringing the entire world with you?" Georgia kidded.

"Shut up!" I threw back jokingly. "So sue me, I like to be prepared. Is that such a crime?" She didn't say anything else, just put a smile on and walked away. I picked up my duffle and grunted. _Maybe you should learn to pack a little lighter._ I thought. I walked to the front or the bus, but before I stepped in front of the privacy curtain, Georgia stopped me.

"Jude… Be prepared."

"Georgia, what did I just tell you? I'm always prepared!"

"Uh huh." She shook her head. "If you're sure… let's go." I nodded and she led the way out of the bus. My mind registered the screams before I actually registered the people. When I stepped down the last step on the bus, it (finally) occurred to me that all these people were here for me. All of them!

"Georgia…" I breathed, not knowing what else to say.

"Told ya so." Was all she could say as she threw a grin back my way. As we walked up to the front doors, people were calling my name and holding out CD's for me to sign. I signed a few, then walked up to the front doors. It was there however, that I heard my name being called by someone… someone I definitely knew.

"JUDE!" I searched the crowd until I found who I was looking for. I dropped my duffle and ran to him. He held his arms out and I jumped into them.

"Hey Tommy." I whispered in his ear. I let him go and looked to his right and saw another sight for sore eyes. "Sadie." I flung my arms around her and held her tight. Sure, we may go at it like two angry dogs sometimes, but she's my sister, and I'll always love her.

"Surprise!" she exclaimed.

"Jude, c'mon." Georgia motioned to the building. I nodded and grabbed sadie's hand.

"Let's go! Upstairs… how did you get there?" I rushed, breathless, into the hotel, dragging Sadie with me, Tommy following. Georgia and EJ waved us into an elevator and I leaned against the elevator wall.

"Well Jude, we wanted to fly, but our wings broke, so we just walked." Sadie rolled her eyes. "We took a plane, duh."

"Well… shut up!" I pushed her a little. "I mean, why?"

"Your sister wanted to see you perform in one of your first "real" concerts, so I bought us tickets and here we are." Tommy answered.

"And you?" He looked a little confused. "Did you want to come?" I clarified.

"Of course I did Jude. I wouldn't miss it for the world."


	5. Room Assignments

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Instant Star, Jude, Tommy, nothing. Although, I really do wish I DID own Tommy… evil grin

**Author's note**: Hey everyone thanks so much for reading my fic so far! I'm so glad so many people like it! I've been having a little trouble with ideas lately, and I wanted some input. If you guys have anything you want to see in the story, please let me know and I'll see what I can do with it. I am absolutely desperate for some original ideas! Thanks again everyone, and here's chapter 4!

The tension in that elevator shot up real quick after Tommy said that. Sadie gave me a funny look that I couldn't quite read, and EJ and Georgia gave Tommy suspicious looks.

"Ding." _Ahhh, saved by the bell._ I thought to myself. Everyone seemed to breathe a sign of relief along with me.

"Room assignments." Georgia stated. "Jude, room 258, Sadie, room 258, Tom-." She got cut off.

"Wait, I'm sharing with Jude? I would have thought I'd be sharing with Tommy, you know, seeing as…" She trailed off, but what she didn't say wasn't hard to guess. My insides churned, and I had to fight myself extremely hard not to slap her. My only satisfaction was to see Tommy's face grow redder than a sunburned lobster.

"Sadie…" Tommy cut off, giving my sister a look.

"Ugh, fine. I'll share with Jude, I guess." She rolled her eyes.

"Why thank you Sadie, I'm just oh so happy to be able to share this experience with _you_." I gave her a mad smirk.

"Okay ladies." Georgia cut in. "Tommy, room 259." Sadie gave Tommy a look and Georgia spoke again. "And there's no interconnected door, and the walls in this place are really thin…" Sadie pouted. "Anyways, where was I… ah, yes. EJ and myself get room 260, Speiderman, room 261 and 262." She droned on for a few more minutes giving room numbers to this person and that, but finally she was finished. "You're free to go unpack. We have a long night ahead of us, so I would suggest maybe taking a rest, don't do anything that might cause me to kill you later on, you catch my drift?" She raised her eyebrows in my direction, clearly remembering the incident in Montreal.

"I swear it wasn't me! Speiderman did it; they're just a bunch of lying snakes!" I exclaimed.

"Uh huh, sure, whatever. You're dismissed." She turned on her heel and went to her door and walked in her room.

Sadie and I took this as our cue and went into out room too.

"So, how long are you guys staying?" I questioned my sister. She opened the door and dropped her bag on the bed nearest the door before she answered.

"I don't know, as long as you are I suppose. Tommy never really told me. How long are you going to be here?"

"Well, my next concert is next Tuesday, so not for another 9 days, but its in Colorado, so we have to leave enough time to travel there… I'm thinking that we'll leave here probably around Thursday or Friday." She nodded, not saying anything else. We just stared at each other for a minute, and then busted out laughing.

"What's so funny!" Sadie shrieked. I just shrugged my shoulders, not actually knowing why we _were_ laughing. I started to calm down and fell against the pillows on my bed. I thought for a minute, then sat up.

"I'm gonna go for a walk." Sadie made a move to follow, but I stopped her. "I kinda just want to be alone." She looked a little hurt, but gave me a nod of understanding. I gave her a thankful grin and walked out the door. I started walking down the hall, but was stopped before I got very far.

"Jude, wait." I looked back and saw Tommy taking long strides in my direction.

"Hey Tommy." He caught up to me and we started walking again.

"What's going on?" Tommy really tried hard to make small talk, but he wasn't too good at it.

"Nothing really… just trying to get pumped for the concert tonight." I gave him a sideways glance and noticed he was looking at me in that was he had been in the alley. In the alley the night of the worst day of my life.

"What do you mean trying?" he asked in a voice that turned my knees to jelly.

"Err, uh…" I had a total mind blank. "Uh… OH!" I remembered. "I mean trying. I don't know it just isn't working. Nothing I do seems to get me excited."

"That's never good. Is there anything I can do to help?" _Oh Tommy, you know exactly what you can do to help, but it doesn't mean you'll do it! _I thought desperately, wanting him to read my mind. For the first time since we've met, he didn't seem to have a clue what was on my mind.

"Ummm, I don't know. I just have a lot on my mind. I don't know if there's anything anyone can do to help. Thanks for the offer though." He stopped abruptly and turned his whole body toward me. "What?" I asked, a little defensively. He didn't answer me. He just grabbed my hand and dragged me to his room. I stood stupidly in the doorway while he rooted around in his already trashed room for something. He picked up his guitar case and walked back out of the room, brushing past me on his way. I just stood there, not knowing what to do.

"Are you coming?" He looked back and saw I wasn't following him. I scrambled to follow him and we went to the elevator. He pressed the up button and stepped into the elevator when the door opened. I followed him, my mouth slightly open, not knowing what to do or say. He pressed the roof button and up we went.


	6. You fucking suck

**Disclaimer**: Don't own IS, not Jude, not Tommy, nothing.

**Author's Note**: I know I just posted a new chapter, but I wanted to give you guys a treat… two chapters in one day! HORRAY! lol And I was wondering if anyone knew if Speiderman was the name of the band as a whole, or is that just the lead singers name… let me know!

"Tommy, where in the hell are we going?" I tried asking for the fourth time in the 2 minutes we'd been on that elevator. He just gave me a smile that said "I know something you don't know" and it was starting to piss me off. "Fine, be that way. I just won't talk to you ever again." I crossed my arms and turned my back to him. He chuckled.

"Uh huh, and I'm going to believe that why?"

"Because it's true!" I turned around and looked him in the eye. Only then did I realize my mistake. "Oh, you got me once. ONCE!" I held up one finger to emphasize. "But it won't happen again." I resumed my prior position, but the doors opened and I walked out before he did, making sure to add a little more swing in my hips. I glanced back and saw he had an amused smile playing his lips. "So, what exactly was it that you wanted to bring me up here for?"

"This." He spread his free arm out as he sat on a radiator, positioning the guitar just right. I looked around and my jaw dropped. I was too busy taunting Tommy that I hadn't noticed the view. Sure, it was just a whole ton of buildings, but it was still pretty. "Earth to Jude." Tommy called. I started.

"Oh, erm, sorry." I apologized.

"No worries, no worries, just don't let it happen again." I rolled my eyes at him. He smiled a genuine smile. "Now, come over here." He patted the spot in between his legs. I started to protest, but he wouldn't hear any of it. "Jude, just… don't. Trust me." I still hesitated for a second, and then sat where he wanted me to. He tightened his legs around me slightly, and I got that very familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach. He put the guitar on my lap and put his arms around my shoulders, making my hands go where he wanted them to. Soon, I was poised, looking like I was ready to burst into song.

"Uh, now what?" I was really confused.

"Just let the guitar play you Jude. Just close your eyes and let it play you." He breathed into my neck, making me want to lose control. Instead of making fun of what he said, I just did what he told me to. I shut my eyes, and let the guitar play me.

_And it hurts so bad_

_Yeah, and it hurts so bad_

_Letting go of the one you love_

_And holding onto the one you know_

_Nothing there is love_

_Just feeling, no emotion_

_Pretending to be the person_

_You know you can't be_

_Hiding behind the shadow_

_Of another girl, you know you don't compare_

_And it hurts so bad_

_Yeah, and it hurts so bad_

_Loving and letting love go_

_Never being what you want_

_No one understands you and what you want_

_They never see_

_You_

I stopped playing abruptly and snapped my eyes open. I felt something wet hit the back of my neck and reached back to feel it. Tommy captured my hand in his and held onto it tightly. I spun around, accidentally dropping the guitar on the ground. I looked in his face and what I saw broke my heart. Tommy was looking in my eyes, letting all the pain he felt come bursting out in the form of tears. I sat stunned for a couple seconds, then wrapped my arms around his. He clung to me for dear life and sobbed into my shoulder.

"Jude, I'm so sorry!" he cried, letting himself go. I heard something rustle behind me, but I was too wrapped up in Tommy to look and see what it was.

"Tommy, stop!" I pulled back, holding his face to be level with mine. "It's alright. What's happened happened, and there's nothing we can do to change it." He looked into my eyes and before I knew what was happening, his lips were on mine. It was the one thing I had been wanting, dreaming about, longing for since my birthday, but I never thought it would happen. _You can't do this Harrison; he's dating your sister for Christ sake. What the fuck are you thinking?_ For the first time in my life, I listened to my inner voice and I pulled back from Tommy. _You fucking suck, you stupid inner voice._ I cursed myself. Tommy immediately started with the apologizing.

"Oh god Jude, I'm so sorry, I swear…"

"If you don't stop apologizing, I might be forced to do something I might regret!" I smiled, wiping the tears that had spilled from my eyes unnoticed, and stood up. "C'mon Quincy, we should get back downstairs." I offered my hand out to him and he took it. We walked to the elevator door, my hand in his and his guitar in his other. Just when I thought this moment could have gone on forever, my cell rang. "Shit." I muttered as I slid the annoying piece of plastic out of my back pocket. It was Georgia. "Hi Georgia." I greeted.

"Hi Jude, no time for niceties. You need to get back here, right now. We have sound check five minutes ago, and Tommy's missing, so we also have to find his lazy as-" I cut her off.

"Georgia, Tommy's with me, don't worry." She breathed out a sigh of relief. "And I'll be downstairs five minutes ago, alright?" She laughed. I took that as a yes. "Okay then, we'll see you in 30 seconds or less. Bye." I clicked off my phone and turned to Tommy. He had wiped the remaining tears from his face made himself look good again. "Well, looks like we're needed downstairs. Sound check and I believe I'm meeting a few fans that won a radio contest too. Let's go." I grabbed his hand and we got into the elevator, headed back to reality.


	7. Honey, I'm home!

When the elevator hit the ground floor, and the doors opened, Georgia rushed in and pulled us out.

"Oh god, this is such a mess. Late to sound check, no hair or makeup done." She kept muttering about every little detail as she ushered us outside and onto the bus. Sadie was sitting at the table already.

"Where were you?" Sadie asked Tommy accusingly. He almost faltered, but he answered.

"I was down stairs, in the, uh, gift shop." Pretty good lie if you ask me.

"Uh huh, right… and you just happened to be gone at the same time as me _baby_ sister did you?" _Oh shit, doesn't look like she's going to buy it._ I thought.

"Sadie, stop being jealous. I was just on the roof, **alone**, trying to clear my head before the concert." _Not quite a lie, you were on the roof. _I rationalized. _Uh huh, but you weren't alone and you sure as hell weren't trying to clear your head. I fired back at myself._

"I'm not jealous, just curious. They're two totally separate things you know." I didn't have time to retaliate because just then, the bus jerked to a stop.

"What the fuck, we can't be there already." I wondered aloud. Georgia came running in.

"Flat tire, long story, we have to walk." She huffed. Sadie looked mortified.

"You can't be serious!" She exclaimed. Georgia sighed.

"Well yes, as a matter of fact, I am. Now get your asses up and start walking." She walked away before anyone else could complain. I didn't say a word, just walked off the bus and started making my way down the sidewalk. I wasn't sure if I was headed in the direction of the Beacon Theatre, but I didn't care. I just needed to start playing.

"Jude, you're going the wrong way!" Sadie and Tommy yelled. I looked over my shoulder and saw they were still at the bus.

"I'll be fine. Don't worry, I'll be there!" I waved my hand in their direction, and kept walking. I heard them calling my name a few more times before I turned the corner. I stuffed my hands in my pockets and kept my head slightly bent down, trying to keep a low profile. I hadn't thought that I was that popular in the States, but after the mob at the hotel, I knew I was wrong. I glanced up and saw a turn coming. There were a bunch of people on the sidewalk, not seeming to be walking, so I just walked around them and turned right. What I saw made my stop in my tracks. People were waiting in line, at the Beacon, all the way up the street. Those people that were in my way were people that were waiting for my concert! I almost jumped for joy, but realized that wouldn't be the smartest thing to do, considering I was WAY outnumbered by my fans. I just kept my head bent and walked forward. I heard more and more people start whispering. I even heard a few ask if I was THE Jude Harrison. I chuckled under my breath and walked into the venue. I said a quick hello to the people setting up the merch booth and then walked into the theatre and yelled

"Honey, I'm home!"


	8. What shall I sing for you master?

Disclaimer: Don't own Instant Star, wish I did though…. Does anyone want to pool their money with mine, and buy it with me! It'd be like a partner company! HECK YES!

"JUDE HARRISON, GET YOU'RE SORRY ASS UP ON STAGE RIGHT NOW!" Someone yelled from the balcony. It was Darius, just lovely. I climbed the steps to the stage and went to the microphone.

"What shall I sing for you master?" I asked sarcastically.

"Don't get smart with me Jude." He warned. "And I want you to warm up with _Temporary Insanity_." I nodded and I played that. I guess it was up to his satisfaction, because he didn't stop me. He then had me sing _Skin_, _Time to be your 21_, and _Let Me Fall_. I did pretty good, only having to sing "Your 21" three times. Memories of just an hour ago had been flooding my mind, and making it hard to concentrate.

"Anything else you need me to practice?" I asked.

"Yeah, actually… you need to warm up _Waste my Time_." He informed me.

"What!" I exclaimed, horrified. "Sorry Darius, but that song can't be sung without Shay, and you know that!"

"Yeah, well you can do it without him, and you're going to, so stop complaining and so what I say." He thought for a minute. "Please." _An asshole with manners… whouda thought?_ I laughed a little. Speiderman started the song and I sang it through until the part where Shay normally came in. I stopped and spoke to Darius.

"How the hell am I supposed to fill that gap Dar?"

"Just sing on as if it wasn't there." He said with a joy in his voice that I didn't quite recognize. I grumbled, but did what he said, and after the song was over, sound check was done. Just as I was climbing down from the stage, EJ came bursting into the theatre, followed by three girls that looked around my age.

"Jude, hi. These girls here are the winners of the radio contest that 100.3 put on." EJ explained.

"Oh, cool. Hey girls… welcome to my life!" I held out my arms a little, and gave them a small smile. They didn't say a word, as if saying something would send them back to reality. "Ummm… is there anything we're supposed to do?" I turned to EJ.

"Sign some stuff, take a few pictures, talk a bit. Be nice to them!" she smiled. "And if you need me, I'll be at the merch table, making sure those guys don't put out the wrong shirts again." She sauntered out of the auditorium and an uncomfortable silence settled amongst the four of us.

"So, uh, is there anything you want me to sign?" I offered.

"YES!" the first girl shouted. She paused, and then her face turned red as her friends laughed at her.

"Okay, cool." I gave her a rare **_real _**Jude Harrison smile and she walked forward and gave me her CD. I signed it real big, then thought for a second. "Hang on guys, I'll be right back." I walked out to the merch booth and grabbed 3 large tour shirts.

"Jude, where are you going with those?" EJ questioned.

"Giving them to the girls who won the contest. They shouldn't have to pay 30 bucks for one after they won." She tried to protest, but I turned my back and walked back into the auditorium. "Here ya go." I handed one shirt to each of the girls. "I didn't know what sizes ya'll wear, so I figured larges would fit."

"Oh my god, thank you so much!" The second girl beamed with happiness.

"Yeah, this was super nice of you!" The third one echoed.

"You are even cooler in person than I thought you would be!" The first one replied.

"You guys are too sweet. Seriously, if it weren't for people like you, I wouldn't even be here right now, so really, I should be thanking you." They grinned and we talked for about 10 more minutes, with me signing their CD's and shirts, before we were interrupted.

"Jude, they need you to go backstage for hair and mak-" Tommy stopped five feet from us. "I'm sorry, was I interrupting something?"

"Oh my hell, its Tommy Quincy!" The first two girls screeched together.

"Umm, kinda yeah. These girls here won a radio contest to do a meet and greet type thing I guess, and we were just wrapping things up." I nodded at him.

"Yeah, well when they leave, hair and make up needs you backstage to do, uh, everything." He finishes lamely. I just nodded and he retreated back behind the doors.

"Alrighty ladies, you heard the man. I'm needed backstage, so I'll talk to you guys later, okay?" They nodded enthusiastically. "I hope you enjoy the show!" They thanked me a final time, and then exited the auditorium. I headed backstage and sat in the make up chair. After what seemed like forever, they were finally done with everything they needed to do. "Thanks guys." I went into the wardrobe room and EJ attacked me like a hungry vulture. It only took her ten minutes to pick out the "prefect" outfit and I was glad. Amazing as it might sound, I had had enough pampering for a day. I checked the clock and was surprised to find that it was 7:30 already. The show was scheduled to start at 8 and I was getting butterflies in my stomach. Not huge ones, but just enough to make me worry.

"Hey girl, how're you doing?" Tommy asked, concerned as he walked into the room.

"Eh, I'm not the best, but I'm not terrible. I'm kinda nervous." I confessed. He laughed. "What's so funny!" I glared at him.

"Just… you preformed in front of millions of people every week for 3 months to win the title of _Instant Star_ and a simple concert is making you skirmish?"

"Oh, shut up Tommy. You can be so rude sometimes." I kidded, but inside I knew he was right. "Is there anything you can do to make me feel better?" I whispered, half hoping he wouldn't hear me.

"Oh Jude…" Tommy looked at me with big, sad eyes.

"Never mind, just… never mind." I looked down. I looked up to say something when Howard, the stage director came in.

"Jude, you're on in 5 minutes." I looked at the clock and saw that indeed, I only had 5 minutes left. I stood up and brushed some non-existent wrinkles out of my pants.

"Wish me luck." I muttered. I walked out the door. Right before I got onstage, Tommy grabbed my arm.

"Jude…" He lowered his head and put his lips on mine. It wasn't a huge, big, showey kiss, but it was enough to make me want to do great. To be great.

For him.

**Author's Note:** Thanks so much to everyone that's been leaving reviews! Just wanted to let y'all know I really and truly appreciate it. When you leave me reviews, it gives me an ego boost, and that makes me want to update more… hint hint Oh, and just to address a question someone asked me a few chapters back, no I don't like the Sadie/Tommy pairing…. It's so disgusting! Haha, just thought I'd let you guys know! Please **_READ AND REVIEW! _**(I'll give you a chapter real quick!)


	9. You can't make things like that go away!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Instant Star, but once I contact CTV, me and GGADDICT22 definitely might! haha

**Author's Note:** Thanks so much for all the inspiring reviews! Sorry for not having a chapter up sooner, but I got in trouble and wasn't allowed on the computer for a while…. Sucks I know, but I'm back! **GGADDICT22**, I do believe that the 26 cents that you offered me plus my money will DEFINITELY buy us Instant Star…. GO US! lol Anyways, let me know what you think of this chapter, and give me some more ideas!

I walked out onto the stage to screams and shouts and claps that I never thought I'd hear ever. It was so exhilarating, it immediately got rid of any anxiety I was having about performing. I knew that I was starting out with _Temporary Insanity_, so I jump started into that, and I kicked ass, if I do say so myself. It was awesome; the crowd was singing along and everything. Totally what I needed to get pumped up. Next I sang _Time to be your 21_ and that was still a little emotional for me… I knew Tommy was watching, so I sang it with the passion and soul I had never sung that song with before. I was a little disappointed when it ended. Following that, I did _24 Hours_ and _Let Me Fall_.

It had been decided that _Waste my Time_ would be my last song of the night, so when that time came, I was pumped and ready to go. The song started and I sang with energy. When it came close to the part where Shay normally would have come in, I prepared myself to skip over it, but then something happened. "Call me Shay to the M-I-C/When you listen' to me/You be listen' to the b bumpin'" I snapped my head to the back of the auditorium where I saw Shay walking down the middle aisle. I almost went out of my head, but I remembered that I had to sing.

"Waste my time, waste my time." I breathed, not taking my eyes off of him as he climbed up on stage and stood next to me. The song quickly ended, thank god, and the applause and screams were deafening. I took a bow. "Thank you guys so much for coming out to see me. Have a great night!" I smiled and walked backstage, hunting for Darius. He came up to me and gave me a big hug. I pushed his away. "What the hell is he-" I jabbed my finger in Shay's direction. "Doing here!" I shouted.

"Look Jude… I wanted to do the duet with you. I thought it'd be cool and that you wouldn't mind." Shay answered for him.

"Oh right. Then why didn't you tell me about this **before **the concert?" I accused. Neither offered up an answer. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a sister to find, and a bus to catch. Talk to you later." I stalked away, hoping to find Sadie quick. I waltzed into my backstage room, but she wasn't in there. I wandered around backstage for a few minutes before I heard giggling. _Oh how lovely. You get to see your sister making out with him… the perfect way to end a night._ I thought bitterly. I followed the giggling, and found Sadie, kissing someone… Someone who _wasn't _Tommy. "Sadie, what are you doing?" I barged in. She jumped and quickly extracted herself from this other guy.

"Oh shit Jude, I can explain!" She stammered. I held my hand up.

"Don't even try. I'm leaving." I walked calmly out of the room and made my way outside. I didn't see the bus, so I figured that it was still where it had been when it broke down. I started walking up the sidewalk when I heard footsteps pounding in my direction.

"Jude, wait up!" Sadie caught up to me and slowed to a walk.

"Wait up for what Sadie?" I turned and glared at her. "Wait for you to make excuses about what I saw and how it never happened?" O felt tears well up in my eyes.

"Well… sorta?" She said warily.

"Yeah well, shove it up your ass Sadie. YOU CAN'T MAKE THINGS LIKE THIS GO AWAY!" I screamed at her. "What did Tommy ever do to you to deserve this?" I turned and ran to the bus. I opened the door and promptly slammed into someone.

"Jude, what's wrong?" Tommy saw the tears on my face and the anger in my eyes.

"Nothing Tommy, absolutely nothing." I threw myself face first onto the couch and screamed. I felt the couch sink a little and Tommy pulled me into his arms. "Jude, it's alright. Everything is alright." He soothed.

"No it's not Tommy, nothing is!" I sobbed into his chest.

"What happened Jude? What happened?" He tried to coax me. I was really tempted to tell him the entire thing, what I saw and what she had said, but I couldn't sink that low. Besides, she would tell him… she **had **to tell him.

"It's just about Shay Tommy. That's it." I pulled away and wiped my face with my hands. He looked really doubtful, but let it drop. "I'm gonna go lie down for a minute. Let me know when we get to the hotel." He nodded and I walked to my bunk. I got comfortable. "Night."


	10. The Price to Pay

When I woke up, I was in my hotel room, under the covers. I almost had a panic attack, not remembering how I got up there, but then I remembered a dream I had had in which Tommy was carrying me up the stairs. Apparently it was no dream. _Mental note to thank him later._ I chuckled aloud. I got out of bed and noticed Sadie's bed was empty. _Just as well._ I thought. _Don't have to put up with her yet._ I went into the bathroom and took a long hot shower. When I was done, I dried off and put on a robe and started towel drying my hair. I stepped out of the steamy bathroom and went over to my suitcase to pick out something to wear. I had my pants and bra on when the door room slammed open and Hurricane Sadie came blowing in.

"How dare you!" She was seething.

"Sadie, wha-." I was flabbergasted.

"Oh, don't try to play games with me Jude. You actually had me feeling bad about last night. You're one to talk you selfish backstabbing bitch!" She lunged at me and we were on the floor, rolling around, Sadie pulling my hair and me trying to get her off.

"Get a grip Sadie!" I shouted.

"What the fuck?" Tommy and Georgia ran into the room, surveying the scene. Tommy grabbed Sadie off of me and Georgia helped me up. Sadie pulled herself out of Tommy's grip and slapped him. Hard. "What is your problem babe?" Tommy looked confused.

"My problem? MY PROBLEM!" She screamed. "This is "my problem" asshole." She pulled a magazine from her back pocket and threw it at him, then left the room, slamming the door after her. Tommy stared down at the front cover in horror.

"Oh Jesus Christ, this isn't good." He murmured. I walked to his side and looked at the cover too.

"Jude Harrison blows off some steam with a heavy make-out session starring Little Tommy Quincy." The magazine's headline blared.

"Oh hell." I sank to the floor in disbelief, totally forgetting that I still hadn't put on a shirt. Georgia pulled the magazine from Tommy's hands and stared at it in shock.

"Tommy… you're fired." She dropped the magazine and walked out of the room. My jaw dropped and I stood up. I was almost out the door when Tommy stopped me.

"Jude, no. It's only fair. I knew the rules, and I broke them, Simple as that." He explained with a look of defeat in his eyes.

"Bullshit Tommy! It is NOT fair. It wasn't your fault. I provoked you somehow, I don't know, but it wasn't your fault!" I was pleading with him.

"No, no you didn't Jude. It just happened and this is the price to pay." He sat down on the bed, and put his head in his hands.

"No, this isn't the end! I swear, you're not going to be fired. You're just… not!" I turned again and this time I actually got my hand on the handle before he spoke.

"Er, Jude? You might want to put on a shirt."


	11. I can't strut the stage!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own it, but for an update on how that is going… read the Author's Note! Other than that… I'm Instant Star-less….

After I put a shirt on, I gave Tommy a reassuring hug. "Don't worry, I'll fix it."

"Jude, before you go, I have a question."

"Uh okay, shoot."

"Well, I heard everything that Sadie said through the wall when she was yelling, before I came in to see what was going on, and she said something like 'You're one to talk about cheating.'… What did she mean?" He looked so beat down and desperate, I didn't want to tell him, but I also knew he deserved to know the truth.

"God Tommy…" I looked at him, and he looked back, pleading. "I walked in on Sadie… and this guy, last night, at the concert." I spit out.

"She was… cheating on me?" I nodded. "Oh." A light went off. "Is that what you were so upset about last night?" Again, I nodded. "God, I knew you were lying, but I didn't even think of that. I would have _never_ thought of that."

"Yeah, well, I don't think she would have ever thought that her boyfriend would cheat on her with her _younger_ sister either."

"Point taken." He patted his lap and I went and sat on it. He put his arms around me, protectively, pulling me as close as he could. I rested my head against his chest and breathed deep.

"This is so screwed up." I said with a small smile on my face.

"Mmmhmm." Tommy kissed the top of my head. I didn't know how long we stayed like that, but it was nice.

"Eh-hem." I jumped up from Tommy's lap and missed my footing. I landed on the floor, twisting my left ankle into a position I never knew it could go into.

"Owww!" I wailed, my eyes tearing up as I clutched my leg to my chest. "God damn it that hurts!" I hissed through clenched teeth.

"Oh great, something else just _had_ to happen. Tommy, please help her up and get her downstairs. She needs to go to the hospital." Georgia left, presumably to go get the car ready. I held up my hand and Tommy hoisted me up, wrapping his arm around my waist to stabilize me. We made it into the elevator and I rested against the side, my ankle throbbing something awful. We hit the ground floor and we hobbled outside. A few fans were still waiting on the sidewalk, hoping to see me, and I felt really bad for turning them down, but my ankle was killing me and I wanted it to stop. EJ got up to the hospital in record time. It turns out she has a lead foot when the time calls for it. We walked into the ER and I was signed in. We were taken in to have my ankle x-rayed. After that was over, we were put in a room to wait for the doctor. I started laughing and the others looked at me like I was crazy.

"Well it just struck me as funny that Tommy got married on tour, and all I get is a flat tire, a fight with my sister, a front page tabloid, and a broken ankle." I explained.

"Oh, I think you definitely got the better end of the deal honey." Tommy smiled. Georgia interrupted.

"Okay, well we need to discuss a lot of things. First thing, your tabloid **front cover** that you just mentioned Jude."

"Uhhh, okay? What do you want me to say?"

"Well, I was kinda hoping for an explanation." She gave me a _well duh_ expression.

"It was nothing Georgia! I swear, Tommy was just trying to help me get pumped up for the concert, and things got a little out of hand. It was all my fault, I instigated it, and he ended it… it was just a lapse in judgment. I promise you, it'll never happen again."

"Yeah, you better believe it'll never happen again." I kept looking at her. She sighed. "Fine, fine. Tommy, you're not fired anymore, but you're on strict probation. Anything like this happens EVER again, you're gone without a second thought. Agreed?"

"Agreed." Tommy nodded.

"Alright, well how about the second order of business; damage control." _Oh goody goody gum drops! _I rolled my eyes. "You know that Leno is going to be on your ass about this thick and deep. Just be vague, but clear things up. Try not to center this as the only topic, and don't crack under pressure. That'll just make him stronger and more eager to ask questions. Got it?"

"Ma'am yes ma'am." I yawned. She didn't even have a chance to reply because at this time, the doctor came in.

"Hello Jude, I'm Dr. Sarenson." We shook hands and she took a seat on the rolly chair on the other side of my bed. "Well, there's some good news, and then there's some bad news. Good news first, right?" I shrugged. "You didn't break your ankle. This is good because if you had, it would have taken a long time to heal." She continued. "Now the bad news. When you landed, you twisted your ankle, and you tore a few tendons. You won't need a cast for this, but you'll need to keep an ace wrap around it, and you will need to use crutches. You may be able to walk on it, but doing so can cause more tendons to tear, causing a lot more damage than is necessary." She stood up.

"Uh, but what about when I'm performing? I can't strut the stage and use crutches at the same time!"

"Okay, well considering your situation, you could probably get away with _not_ using the crutches for two, maybe three hours max. But anytime you're backstage or anything, you must use them. Clear?" she compromised.

"Crystal." I smiled, relieved.

"Great. Now let's get your ankle wrapped and grab a pair of crutches." I grinned, but inside I was thinking. _Fuck this. If this is what I get for being a "bad" sister, then why hasn't Sadie been put in a full body cast yet?_

**Author's Note:** Thanks again everyone for the support. I don't really have anything else to add to this, 'cept I'm having a touch of writer's block…. **WHAT DO YOU WANT TO HAPPEN IN THE STORY? **I need input, and if I use any of your ideas, I promise I'll credit you, give you a piece of Instant Star when me and the others buy it, and yeah…. Help me out!

Also, an update on the whole "Buying Instant Star thing"… As of right now, we have 60 dollars, 26 cents…

Oh, and some pocket lint. I'm thinking it might take at least a thousand, so PLEASE DONATE! Yay we're so gonna own IS… and it's going to rock!


	12. Only a mental thing

**Disclaimer:** I'm like _this_ close to owning it, but you know how the saying goes: Close, but no cigar. Sorry!

It took about 20 minutes to get from the ER room I had been put in to the bus. Crutches are not all they're cracked up to be, let me tell you. When we were safely in the bus and sitting down, I breathed out a sigh of relief.

"That was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life!" I complained, bringing my leg up onto the couch. Tommy lifted my leg gingerly and sat down next to me, putting my foot in his lap.

"Yeah, even harder than performing that last song on Instant Star?"

"Hell yeah. This requires physical strength. That was only a mental thing!"

"A mental thing you were totally nervous about at the time." I knew he was right, but I just smirked at him and punched his arm.

"Shut up." Was all I could think to say to him.

**&&&&**

We got to the hotel, and it was there that I was informed that I had 10 minutes to freshen up before Leno. I felt proud because I didn't even take the entire 10 minutes. I just nabbed a pillow and I was ready to roll. That's what hair and make up was for, right?

**&&&&**

Those few hours before Leno were some of the most nerve racking hours of my life. Hair and make up was finalized pretty quick, and I suddenly had a lot of time to phyche myself out. _What if I screw up the lyrics? What if I become the laughing stock of the show? What if I do so badly, my recording contract gets pulled?_ I was on a roll, thinking of all the stupidest things I could ever think of. Finally Tommy found me, pacing the left wing.

"Jude, they're almost ready for you. You gonna do this fine?"

"Uh, yeah. But, uh, Tommy, could you promise me something?" he nodded. "Even if I do super doper REALLY bad, can I keep my record deal?" He busted out laughing.

"Yeah, I promise Jude, you'll get to keep your recording contract." He grabbed my crutches and helped me limp out to the side of the stage. I positioned my crutches and got ready to walk.

"Now please welcome our next guest, Canada's first Instant Star and America's next sweetheart, Jude Harrison!" The crowd applauded and I smiled. Tommy gave my hand a quick good luck squeeze and then I was hit by light. Lots of light. I smiled at the cameras and made my way to the couch. I sat down in as dignified manner that I could, considering my situation. The applause died down and Leno took a breath. "So Jude, what happened? Did you fall off the steam engine?" he winked at me.

"Yeah actually. I was riding the Subway and I stepped off and slipped. No biggie, just a sprain." A lie seems to work better in some situations.

"Ahhh well… how are you enjoying your time here in New York? Seeing all new sights, or just revisiting some old ones?" the audience gave a few appreciative chuckles.

"All new ones Jay, thanks for asking. It's a beautiful city." Like hell I was going to give into his jokes.

"Yeah, sure is." He paused. "Okay, I'm just gonna cut to the chase; what's going on with you and Little Tommy Q?" The screen flashed a close up of the tabloid cover.

"What's going on with me and Tommy." I muttered. "Nothing's going on Jay. Yesterday, I was feeling really homesick and missing my boyfriend, Jamie, back in BC, and I let the situation take control. It was strictly hormonal, and I was thinking about Jamie the whole time." There, another total lie, but no one needed to know that. Jay nodded and we kept on with the interview for another three or four minutes. Finally he announced the commercial break and I got my make up retouched. Georgia came over to me.

"Great cover, couldn't have done it better myself."

"Yeah." I felt horrible for having to lie, but if I wanted to keep Tommy around. We would have to keep playing this charade. I got positioned with my mic and smiled pretty when Jay announced my song. I was going to be singing _That Girl_.

_You said you didn't need me_

_But you did_

_You said you didn't want me_

_But you do_

_It's kinda like a comedy_

_When first you kiss me_

_Then you say we're through_

_I say you got some issues_

_Yeah you do_

_Some things you gotta work through_

_Well you do_

_It's sorta like a talk show_

_No wait a freak show_

_Where the freak is you_

I walked back to the drummer, then to the very front of the stage, getting up close to the audience and touching a few hands.

_Funny how it works out _

_With your big mouth_

_You'll always get it back_

_You thought you had me worked out_

_You're no deep_

_Mr. I screw-about_

_You're still a creep_

_At best you coulda confessed_

_That you're a big mess_

_And that you're so damn weak_

I wanted to be singing that last line to Tommy, but it didn't apply to him this time; it applied to me. It was then and there that I knew I would have to stop everything with Tommy.

It would kill Jamie if I didn't.

**Author's note:** Sorry for the long wait between my update… I had a ton of school, and I didn't have time until like just now to type the story onto my computer. Thanks to everyone who reviewed… cookies to ya'll! Also, tell me what you think will happen in the story… I'm really interested to know where you think this is going to end up. Let me know, and I'll talk to everyone later!

tazitz


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